The determination of donor influence and donor control are subjective. CASE does a good job - in the new Global Standards - of explaining the issue. And they also provide a few examples.
I suggest taking those few pages from the beginning of the book, and giving them to your Gift Acceptance Committee. Ask them, then, to determine whether this donor demand meets the outlined criteria. This is usually not a one-person decision.
As an aside, the relationship of the donor to the institution, their potential for future gifts, their past actions, and the extent to which they seek to change decisions already made are all factors the GAC must consider.
John
John H. Taylor
919.816.5903 (Cell/Text)
Big Ideas; Small Keyboard